Every year in November I start falling down a hole. Not the well-known rabbit-hole, unfortunately. The “dark period” usually lasts from November to February. This year, November wasn’t that bad but I think it hit me now. Mr. K. might have seen it coming but personally I only found out the other day. So, I’m down here again. I don’t like it very much, it’s pretty cold, dark in an uncomfortable way and I’m having a migraine attack. I wasn’t capable of doing much these past days. I find it very hard to blog because I can’t concentrate for long. Going to work has been a struggle this whole week. But I really don’t want this to start again! I don’t want to admit I might have “caught” it again – not to myself, not to others. I don’t even want to discuss this with Mr. K. I don’t want to see a doctor and most of all I don’t want to go see a shrink EVER AGAIN. That’s my dilemma.
What should I do? Talk to somebody or not? Can I manage to drag myself out of that hole on my own? I’d like to believe I can.
I feel panicky right now. I know it will pass but it feels awful. I had so many plans for today but I don’t feel up to them. Somehow starting the dishwasher feels like today’s biggest achievement.
I told my Mom that I feared being depressive once again a while ago. She advised me to do fun and cozy things, to bake a cake, talk to friends. And so I did. It helped for a while. I wonder if I can manage if I keep doing things like this. I thought I might give myself assignments and see if I can do them. I want to start today (having the dishwasher do its thing doesn’t count).
Today’s “Get Out Of That Hole!”-Assignment is:
Create a DIY folder with lots of gothic patterns, instructions and inspiration. It has to be a “real” folder, with real paper and real pages to turn.
Want to join me and exchange ideas, links and stuff like that?
For me, fighting depression will be a part of project “BatFit 2012”, too. At first, I only wanted to take part in this to find motivation to change my eating habits and start working out again. Today, I realized there’s so much more I need to take better care of.