Black & White

A while ago, I realised how much impact the meds I’m taking have on me. Without them, I’m on an emotional rollercoaster ride. With them, I’m kind of indifferent to everything. I function, but no more. No creative energy, no motivation to do anything. As Mr. K. put it yesterday: I’m a walking sleeping pill. I’m there but you hardly notice me.

I hate this because I have no real choice. Take pills = feeling awful. No pills = feeling awful.

At least, I did a little experimentation with black & white.

First picture: The scarf I usually pair with white clothes.

Second picture: My new fleur-de-lis scarf.

If I had a little more energy, I’d like to try knitting a similar top. Shouldn’t be too hard, even without having a pattern.

Owly Images

New picture on my office wall: Look at what Emma of Little Gothic Horrors sent me! So far, my co-workers haven’t asked about the meaning of “Betelgeuse”. I’m curious how long it’ll take them to ask.😉


  1. Thats a really nice knit you have, not too warm to wear in summer. Your fleur de lis scarf is lovely, i think it fits better with the knit than the black one. I really hope that you’ll feel better soon to be able to skip the medicine. Warm hugs /Therese

  2. I have been a walking sleeping pill before. It’s a terrible choice to have to make… I went with the zombie choice for 10 years, because it kept me off the ledge, so to speak. When I got off the meds, I found that I was somewhat rewired in the brain. I still don’t really feel emotions… and when I do, it’s always a surprise. My friends are pretty sure I’m a Borg.

    I hope you find a happy medium between emotion-deluxe and robot.

    1. That sounds horrible! I do not want to endure this for such a long time.😦
      Why can it not be simple for us, too?
      I want me creativity back, my passion for writing, my motivation to DO things.

      1. I found that depression wasn’t really my root problem… it was attention deficit disorder. As long as I keep my ADD under control, I’m pretty much fine. ADD controlled means OCD and depression controlled.

        Perhaps you are treating the wrong thing? I don’t know what sort of diagnostic run you had, but perhaps there is something else hiding in there.

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